“I am larger, better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.”- Walt Whitman
I will never forget how I felt watching the tear roll down the cheek of my first psychotherapist as he listened to my story. It was as if my whole body went into shock; grappling with the dissonance between what I was believing and what I was witnessing. In my mind I was “bad,” and the emotions I was having were shameful, yet here I was watching a man be so touched by the pain of my experience that his empathy overflowed in the form of a single tear. Something cracked open inside of me and a new possibility was born- perhaps I wasn’t as terrible as I thought. Perhaps there was something good within me that deserved care and connection… This moment was the beginning of my journey in finding self-worth.
Recovering a sense of my own goodness was pivotal for my healing, and is equally so for many of my clients. To believe in your own inherent goodness fundamentally transforms your relationship with yourself, others and the universe. It allows you to trust in who you are, and the choices that you make. When we trust ourselves we are no longer afraid of who we are, which allows us to be vulnerable, non-defensive and authentic. We become available to connect, share, learn, bond and grow. We find more inner peace and contentment. Ultimately, in coming home to our goodness we discover the beauty and miraculous nature of our own being.
That’s why today I want to share some experiences and insights that I hope will serve you in coming to realize the beauty of who you truly are; beginning with my understanding of a profound Buddhist philosophy, sometimes called “basic goodness”, and then exploring how this view can change your transformational process in crucial and beneficial ways.
Years ago, on my first meditation retreat with her eminence Sakya Jetsun Kushok Chimey Luding Rinpoche, I learned about the Buddhist view of inherent goodness. Chanting is an essential element in the Sakya Tibetan lineage that I was being initiated into, so on day 1 we were handed prayer books that outlined the sacred instructions, chants and mudras for what’s called the White Tara practice. As we began the practice together I remember feeling shaken by speaking the following words written in the prayer book before me: “Om, all phenomena are pure by nature; I am pure by nature." And then in parentheses it further explained that in “Saying this all phenomena are purified in the sphere of clear light and emptiness.” These two sentences alone could be unpacked in detail, but what struck my core at the time was the recitation that I was “pure by nature” and further, that I didn’t need to seek another's absolution to realize this- instead everything could be purified in my own “sphere of clear light and emptiness.” This statement is in direct contrast to the view of human nature that many philosophers and theologians share, and that many of us were indoctrinated into. Take for example the words of Christian theologian John Calvin who said “Our nature is not only utterly devoid of goodness, but so prolific in all kinds of evil, that it can never be idle.” The views that we are exposed to can have a tremendous impact on your psyche. As someone who was raised in the Catholic tradition I had inherited from a young age this belief that all humans were born with Original Sin, and had been deeply affected by it. At that moment when I sat in meditation and spoke the words “I am pure by nature” I was already a Life Coach who was well-trained in Transpersonal Psychology. By then I had engaged in years of psychotherapy and powerful meditation practices. I didn’t even believe in the concept of Original Sin, yet, I could feel the energy of this notion reverberating in my being. A part of me contracted against these words as they flowed out of my mouth, revealing how ingrained my beliefs remained that I was shameful and bad. Of course, not all of this was from my religious upbringing, it was the result of a complex web of intergenerational trauma, cultural harm, and painful early experiences. Yet, here I was, again, a 38 year old woman, seeing my inner beliefs of worthlessness.
This wasn’t actually the first time I’d been exposed to the Buddhist idea that we were born good and pure. In my 20’s I found the writings of a teacher named Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche who taught about what he called “basic goodness.” His most famous student is Pema Chodron, but he was also the teacher of my own personal mentor John Welwood. His words beautifully convey the energy of this teaching. Trungpa wrote “Every human being has a basic nature of goodness, which is undiluted and unconfused. That goodness contains tremendous gentleness and appreciation. As human beings, we can make love. We can stroke someone with a gentle touch; we can kiss someone with gentle understanding. We can appreciate beauty. We can appreciate the best of this world. We can appreciate its vividness: the yellowness of yellow, the redness of red, the greenness of green, the purpleness of purple. Our experience is real…When we feel that our lives are genuine and good, we do not have to deceive ourselves or other people. We can see our shortcomings without feeling guilty or inadequate, and at the same time, we can see our potential for extending goodness to others. We can tell the truth straightforwardly and be absolutely open but steadfast at the same time.”
It’s important to understand that purity or basic goodness goes beyond our conditioned personalities- which of course contain a polarity mix of positive and negative tendencies. As John Welwood wrote, basic goodness “refers to our primordial nature, which is unconditionally wholesome because it is intrinsically attuned to reality.” It holds the view that all of nature is born with wholesomeness, and we are a part of nature. We each are born with a unique set of aptitudes and temperaments, yet we easily fall into comparing ourselves to what seems “right” or “better” out there. Basic goodness suggests that just as we wouldn’t judge a palm tree for not being a peach tree, or a lion for not being a monkey, there’s no reason to judge our fundamental nature. Additionally, just as all of nature contains the necessary elements to unfold into its potential, so too were we born with all the faculties we need to become who we are meant to be. Like acorns, formed with the divine blueprint that’s required to become an oak tree, basic goodness implies that we contain within us all that we require to have an awake and loving human experience. It’s easy for most of us to observe a young child and see that innate spark of goodness, that beautiful innocence and joy for life. In truth, we too were born with that same innocence and purity of heart, yet, traumas and tragedies can cloud our connection to this basic goodness. As we are fragmented away from our core, self-doubt enters, shaking our trust in our own spontaneous nature. This takes us further out of relationship with our true selves and with the divine.
It’s been a journey to realize my own basic goodness, but I can confirm that despite all of our conditioning, goodness is a natural state that we can access within our body. In my experience it is not elevated or special. It’s not good as in “better than.” It is a simple state of “Yes, this deserves to exist just as it is” and further “I am good and worthy just because I exist.” As Cherokee teacher and author Dhyani Ywahoo writes “You live, therefore you are good enough.” Pause and feel into the magic offered with those words “You live, therefore you are good enough.” How do they resonate within your body and mind? Perhaps you feel soothed as you take in words of unconditional love. Or perhaps they hit up against any contractions that whisper, “no, this can’t be true for me.” Or you may hear your inner critic proclaim that you alone are uniquely bad, the one anomaly in this universe. Depending on the messages you’ve received, and the traumas you’ve endured, developing an unconditional positive regard for your own being can feel unknown, or even dangerous. All of these inner voices are best met with insight, compassion and understanding, for the conditioning that we must prove our worth is a heavy burden that runs deep in many of us.
The gift that the view of basic goodness offers us is the knowing that no matter what we are feeling towards ourselves- we can recover. We are not bad, deficient, or broken, and nothing essential about us has been lost. We have simply been disconnected from our own true nature of goodness, and therefore, the journey lies in finding our way back home to ourselves. Think about how this view can change how you approach yourself and your healing journey. Imagine every practice you’ve engaged in- whether it be prayer, yoga, meditation, psychotherapy, inner child work... and feel into the belief you brought to it. Did you believe that you were inherently wrong and must be fixed? Or that there was a divine being judging you as shameful? How might perspectives such as those affect your attitude towards yourself and the practice? Now imagine if instead you approached every process with the view that you were inherently good, and that self-realization was found in peeling back the layers that covered up your sacred true nature. You just may find the practices be easier to engage with, and that courage and faith are more readily accessible.
When we approach our healing journey with the lens that we are bad or wrong we may find ourselves in an inner war; dividing into the good part who seeks redemption and the bad part who you condemn and aim to defeat. Conversely, when we hold the possibility that we contain an inherent goodness our attitude and energy changes. Rather than struggling to fix, demolish or control our “bad parts,” our focus shifts to lovingly reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that have become shrouded by our layers of fear, pain and self-protective habits. We find a foundational ground to anchor into that evokes compassion, self-trust, understanding, forgiveness, and tenderness.
The realization of basic goodness can arrive through a variety of experiences including relational attunement with a psychotherapist or other practitioner, energy work, inner child work, and various meditation practices- all of which I can share more of over time. Naturally, realizing this trust in our own fundamental nature is a process, but for today my hope is that you may move forward with a new seed of possibility; one that says maybe, just maybe, you are, and have always been, inherently worthy, beautiful and good, exactly as you are.
It’s my honor to be here with you, and for you. If you resonate with this let me know. Or have any questions please reply and if I have an answer I think will serve I will try to post on instagram or write another newsletter response.
May every moment bring you closer to knowing the truth and beauty of who you are,
Xo
Vanessa